


That's the Spirit!

by E_J_Morgan



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, Q is a ghost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-08 09:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11643360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_J_Morgan/pseuds/E_J_Morgan
Summary: The aftermath of Spectre. What if Q had been tortured in Austria then shot during the car chase?





	1. Prologue

Q glided absent-mindedly along the corridors of MI6 Headquarters, never realizing the fright he was causing to some of the newer employees meeting him for the first time. As such, he didn’t see Kathy, who had just begun the day before with the cleaning staff, jump upon the sight of him and hit her head into the shelf she was supposed to be rearranging. Neither did he hear Bruce, who had only recently started as a janitor, give a yelp of scared surprise and drop a lightbulb he had been about to change. And, of course, they had both been warned in advance. What would happen if someone really encountered him unexpectedly?

 

Others were used to him by now. He had come back from Austria nearly two months ago right after having been captured and tortured there first, then – already seriously injured from said happenings – had been shot in the back in London during the car chase with M and Moneypenny sitting in the vehicle with him. He hadn’t even noticed it in the hustle that had been going on with Blofeld and all, but had collapsed on the bridge not long after Bond had so nicely turned his back on them and left with Doctor Swann without further thought towards his once-friends and comrades in times of need. Q then had died a few hours later in the hospital, with Moneypenny, Tanner and M by his side, actually witnessing his funny transformation from living to something… not entirely living. So, his friends had had enough time to come to terms with the fact that their favorite Quartermaster would be a ghost from now on. Since that circumstance didn’t seem to hinder him in doing the duties he had as Head of Q-Branch with the – for him – habitual stamina and witty humor, nobody minded this new development all that much to tell the truth.

 

So, what if he was transparent and sometimes – only when he forgot himself or was in a great hurry, honestly – stepped through solid walls? Who cared if he floated two or three inches above the ground instead of walking on it? Why should it bother anyone that he never ate or slept anymore? Especially since he hadn’t been doing much of either of these activities before anyways. Now, they at least didn’t have to worry about him working himself to death. Surely, not even Q could die twice, right? So, his new state was merely a bit of an inconvenience, nothing more. At least, that was what they all told themselves.

 

Q knocked on M’s door, and, as soon as he received a ‘come in’, entered the boss’ office. He even opened the door for courtesy’s sake. Yes. He could do it; he had discovered very early on that when he concentrated hard enough he could actually touch and move things. He just had to pay attention; otherwise his hand would easily pass through solid things without encountering any resistance. It could be quite vexing at times and very entertaining at others.

 

“Quartermaster, good morning. Please, take a seat.” – Greeted M regretfully, probably still feeling guilty about not having been able to save one of his most treasured employees from a painful death, and gestured towards the armchair in front of his desk for the young spirit to take a seat.

 

The ghost tentatively lowered himself into the piece of furniture as if afraid it would burn him. He didn’t fall through it. Good start. Only when he was absolutely sure he wouldn’t end up lower than he meant to sit, thus scaring the poor man to death, did Q speak up.

 

“Good morning, M. R said you wanted to talk to me?”

 

“Yes, Quartermaster, indeed I wished to. But first: how are you feeling? I mean… Are you even feeling something? Physically, emotionally? Sorry, I don’t really know how to express this. I just want to make sure you’re all right with this certainly unique situation.”

 

“I’m fine, thank you, sir. I mean, I can’t really be ‘not all right’ since I’m already dead… But I understand what you wanted to ask… and I’m fine. I think…”

 

M narrowed his eyes and silently regarded him for a few seconds as if trying to see into his very soul. But he didn’t have a soul anymore, did he? It was confusing and slightly frustrating that even he himself had no clue about his current state. He was used to knowing everything; how could he not know _what_ he was!? Anyway, what Q knew very well was that M felt responsible and that he had never been able to forgive himself for the happenings. The ghost hoped to change this someday: he didn’t blame either of his friends. Except for… well, but _he_ wasn’t a friend, was he? No, probably not anymore. And _he_ wasn’t blaming himself for sure. What a mess…

 

The silence continued and it stretched into the ‘uncomfortable’ zone, and Q started to fidget nervously. This, in turn, resulted in him sinking deeper into the armchair and having to hoist himself up with difficulty onto the level of the seat while Mallory politely looked away and pretended to read a document so as not to make his companion even more self-conscious. Or so that he himself wouldn’t start to cry.

 

The head of MI6 finally took pity on him and went on with the explanation.

 

“I wished to talk to you about 002’s upcoming mission in Berlin. Do you think he and your department are ready for the task?”

 

“Yes, sir. I talked things over with him and, while he’s sadly not handling my current… state… very well, he’s willing to cooperate completely and he has promised to follow all my instructions, just like always before. Q-Branch is ready as well, we have been able to fix things since the incident. Everything should be fine.”

 

“That’s good then, I trust you. Tell me if 002; or anyone else for that matter; gives you any difficulties. I don’t mind what you are; you could be a zombie, a vampire or even the Devil himself for all I care: you’re the best we’ve got and we need you. Everyone who doesn’t want to understand this will have to answer to me.”

 

“Thank you, sir. I don’t think there’ll be a problem.” – With that he excused himself and headed back to Q-Branch.

 

In reality, he’d had a bit of problem with some of the Double-Os at first, though not too bad: they seemed a bit apprehensive of him in the beginning of this new era, and were a bit reluctant to follow a ghost’s instructions. He had quickly solved this problem by demonstrating that he was still just as capable of making their lives a living hell as he had been during his life. First life… Living life… ah, whatever. Anyway, that had helped. Well, that, and the respect they so obviously felt about the sacrifice he’d had to make for 007’s cause; especially since it was what had eventually caused his untimely demise. They regarded him as some kind of hero right now who had been quite literally willing to give up his life for one of them. Nobody else had ever done anything like that for a Double-O agent.

 

His minions were a different tale altogether: they even found his predicament hilariously convenient for their field of work – thought they were a crazy lot in everyone’s opinion, so Q couldn’t decide if he should be reassured by their easy acceptance or run (fly) the other way, screaming in panic. Either way, they had the most creative ways of making fun (but not mockingly, rather friendly) of him, like when two of the bravest ones had barricaded his office door with a desk, claiming he didn’t need it anymore anyway and this way they could keep overly curious agents out of it easier. Besides, they had said, the light was exceptionally good there, so it would be a pity not to put a work desk there now that they didn’t need the place for anything else anymore. Actually, Q had thought that they had a point, so the desk remained and the ghost simply slipped through it every time he wanted to enter his own room. Inviting any mortal inside could be a real adventure though. Q didn’t mind. He didn’t like having to entertain visitors in his personal sanctuary anyway.

 

“Hi, guys!” – He greeted his subordinates. Sarah, who had had been the lucky one on the draw to win the desk in front of his office door, involuntarily shuddered as he passed through her. He had been told it was a funny feeling, like being dropped into icy water. He wouldn’t know: _he_ couldn’t feel anything. Others snickered and waved at him happily. They had always liked and respected him well enough, but it seemed that having a ghost as their ‘Overlord’ was considered the ‘coolest thing ever’ in their book, so now they absolutely adored him and worshiped the very ground he walked on… ahm… floated over.

 

He shook his head fondly at the sight of his team and settled down to study 002’s mission plans, once again looking for potential flaws to be able to correct them in time to prevent a catastrophe. He had to make sure everything would go smoothly on his first job after ‘The Incident’ – as he now referred to the unfortunate events leading up to his untimely death.


	2. What Are Friends For?

He had been working for at least three hours undisturbed, having already sunk lower than his chair’s surface since he had been too busy to pay attention to his position, when he heard rustle from outside. It sounded like arguing first then some heavy furniture – supposedly the desk blocking the entrance – being moved forcefully to the side. Just that moment the door swung open and a ruffled-looking Alec Trevelyan aka 006 stood there, obviously having just returned from field without even showering and changing first. He stopped in mid-step, staring at him open-mouthed, eyes wide as saucers.

 

“What the hell!?” – The agent gave an undignified yelp of horror.

 

Q just stared back at him, totally lost. He didn’t know what to say or do. The man had been away on a long-term assignment abroad for the last half a year, and seemingly everybody had forgotten to inform him of the recent happenings. Finding your transparent Quartermaster sitting on the floor, _inside_ a chair, with colorless blood still visible on his back where he had been shot was certainly not the optimal way to find out such news.

 

“006. Welcome home.” – He managed to say in a nearly normal voice as he backed out of the chair and carefully stood up. – “I didn’t know you were back already. Otherwise I would have had someone warn you about… this.” – He finished, indicating to his semi-visible body with a nervous little laugh.

 

“What in the name of God has happened to you?” – Shrieked the man again, still plastered to the wall as if afraid to get closer to the ghost in case his state was contagious.

 

“I’m dead.” – Explained Q simply, shrugging his shoulders helplessly, wishing he didn’t have to be the one to do this. He hated being the bearer of bad news. Or any news for that matter. Moneypenny was so much better at that; that was why he usually just let her do the talking. Where was she when you needed her, anyway…?

 

“Well. No shit.”

 

“It’s okay, really. I think I’m getting used to it. I can glide; look!” – And he proudly demonstrated how he could just float around the place at will. It looked as if he were swimming in the air without a care in the world. The look on the agent’s face immediately robbed him of his smile though along with his confidence. – “Well, I thought it was fun…”

 

“Will you tell me finally what happened?” – Pressed the man when he managed to find his voice again, and tiredly flopped down into Q’s abandoned chair to show that he wasn’t about to budge.

 

The ghost dejectedly settled onto the cot (careful not to fall into it again), and sighed.

 

“It’s a long story. But to make it short: I went to Austria, I got captured and questioned. Painfully. I managed to get away. I came back and got shot. I died. Even more painfully.”

 

Alec blinked confusedly.

 

“I think I would like to hear a slightly longer version.” – He stated and Q, for lack of better option, began to explain in detail about everything the agent had missed.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

“I’m going to kill him!” – Promised Alec with a threatening growl. He had long since abandoned the chair and was now pacing up and down the office, making Q feel dizzy just by watching him. Funny how just being around a Double-O agent could make even a ghost feel light-headed…

 

“You can’t kill him; he’s not even in England right now. He left with his new girlfriend just after we got Blofeld.” – Tried to reason the spirit patiently.

 

Unfortunately, it only seemed to fuel the other’s anger further.

 

“Precisely that’s why I’ll do it painfully slow! I’m going to look for him first. And then, when I’ll find him, I’m going to kill him.” – 006’s eyes shot sparks of fury. At the beginning of the ghost’s storytelling, he was just endlessly sad. Now, he was sad _and_ angry. Q couldn’t even decide which one was worse to be responsible for.

 

“Listen, Alec, it’s fine. Leave him alone. He’s gone. He doesn’t even know I’m dead. He never cared enough to ask.” – But it wasn’t fine! Not at all! Q felt his non-existing blood boil at the thought of the man marching back into Q-Branch the day following ‘The Incident’, not to ask what had happened to his friends; oh, no. But to take the car! The Aston Martin Q had worked on for long weeks and developed; according to M’s orders; for 009 personally. The car, 007 had just stolen, then wracked. And after Q had restored it, he had stolen it again to be able to impress his new girlfriend. He never cared about anyone but stupid cars and silly women!

 

Okay, maybe Q _was_ a bit resentful…

 

“Didn’t the bastard notice you weren’t on your place when he came back for that wrenched car?” – Apparently, the Quartermaster wasn’t the only one of that opinion.

 

“I don’t think he noticed anything else but Doctor Swann and the Aston, to tell you the truth. These are the only things that matter to him: women and cars.” – The young man admitted sadly. It wasn’t a great feeling to know that his once good friend (at least he had thought they had been friends) hadn’t even asked about him, even though he had known about his injuries he had gotten in Austria. Of course to this very day he hadn’t called either to check up on any of them. He hadn’t even asked what it was like for them to have to pick up the pieces after the mess _he_ had caused!

 

“I’m still going to kill him.” – Declared Alec, probably having reached the same conclusion, and sank onto the chair once again. – “But honestly, Kid, how are you feeling about all these? I must admit I can’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for you. I’ve never seen a ghost before.”

 

“Neither have I. Do you think I’m the only one? That’s my biggest fear.” – He admitted for the first time ever, shuddering at the thought of being totally alone with this problem in the entire universe. That would be just his typical luck. – “That I won’t have anyone to talk to about this. I don’t even know what’s awaiting me: is that for ever? Will I have to watch everyone around me die and move on while I’ll be stuck here in between until eternity, belonging neither there nor here?”

 

“I don’t know, Q. But why would you be the only one? I’m sure there ought to be others. We’ll look for them!”

 

“ _We_?”

 

“Of course! You don’t think I’d let you suffer through this alone? Or Eve, M, Tanner, your minions, the other agents… anyone?”

 

“I could easily name _someone_ who would”

 

“Don’t mind him. I’ll kill him anyway.”

 

“Just please, make sure he doesn’t become a ghost. I couldn’t bear to be stuck here with him for eternity.”

 

The agent actually shuddered at the mental image of a James Bond spirit haunting London.

 

“No, no. I wouldn’t wish that on the world.”

 

“Thanks, Alec.”

 

“You’re welcome. Never forget: you’re not alone. We’re all here for you. And you belong here with us, in whatever shape you are; never doubt that for a minute.”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

And Alec had kept his promise, just like he had been right about the others as well: they all were there for him, reassuring him they didn’t mind him being a ghost, repeating over and over again he was still their friend like before, that, for them, nothing had changed. Slowly, even Q started to believe it.

 

Also, all started researching everything there was to know about ghosts and life after death. They tried to do it in secret so that he wouldn’t get his hopes up, but he, naturally, had found out right away what they were doing. He was still the Quartermaster after all, regardless of circumstances; so it was still in his unofficial job’s description to know everything that was going on in MI6.

 

He recalled the conversation between his best friends he had ‘accidently’ overheard the day before (it really wasn’t his fault there were security cameras that recorded voice all over the building):

 

_“Here! Here seems to be something usable… A spell…” – Came Moneypenny’s excited exclamation. Q could even see her sitting bent over a large book, bouncing in her seat in happiness about having found something, thanks to the camera’s current angle. – “Oh… No, wait. That’s not good. This is to get rid of ghosts, not to find them…”_

_“Don’t you have to find them though first to then be able to chase them away?” – Asked Tanner hopefully, but Q was sure he didn’t really believe it himself._

_“Well, it’s not that disappointing: I mean, if there are spells like that, then it should mean, there_ are _other ghosts, right? Why else would they have developed spells against them?” – Reasoned Alec._

_“Who knows with sects…” – Answered M solemnly. – “You can’t trust them at all, they’re notorious of seeing things that aren’t really there. Here’s something else though… It says it’s supposed to be for summoning them. But it’s in Latin… Does someone speak Latin?”_

_“Q probably does.” – And R was right of course. He did speak Latin. A pity though that they had decided not to bother him with it, in case it would prove to be false and only cause him to be more disappointed in the end. They proceeded trying to translate it with the help of Google, having divided the text between themselves. As soon as Q caught snippets of it, he determined it to be rubbish, but still he couldn’t even begin to tell how much he appreciated their thoughtfulness and caring._

 

It was a Friday afternoon three weeks after 006’s return and their initial conversation, when the young ghost heard the desk outside being shoved away and the door opening right after that. Eve entered, smiling enthusiastically. Q could see that she had already changed out of her working clothes into a more elegant dress. (And this was not a small feat, seeing that she was elegant all the time.) She wore earrings and an expensive looking necklace that she had gotten – according to her – from one of her ex-boyfriends who had been very rich. (“Why should I throw it out just because we’re not together anymore? It goes very good with my favorite pair of shoes!” – She had explained ages ago. Well, even if it wasn’t so long ago, it still belonged to another age: to the time when Q had still been alive.) So, she also had her favorite shoes on, and she had completed the picture of perfection with just the right make-up and hairstyle.

 

“So, what do you think?” – She asked, turning around slowly so that he could properly observe her from every angle.

 

“You look breathtakingly beautiful, Miss Moneypenny.” – Q answered honestly. She really did look amazing. It was her birthday and some friends of MI6 were going out to celebrate her in a luxurious restaurant. This was going to be her night, and she deserved it to be perfect.

 

“Thank you, you’re a real gentleman! So, are you ready to go?”

 

“What? Go where? How could I go? Eve, I’m _dead_!”

 

“So?”

 

“So!? I’m transparent and I float inches above the floor! Not to mention that bloodstains are visible on my back. I can’t do anything about it; I died with them. But people would surely faint of fright seeing me!” – She really spent too much time cooped up with lunatics in MI6 if she had already forgotten that being a ghost wasn’t considered ‘normal’ among average people… There was a reason he hadn’t set foot outside of Headquarters ever since he had died. Oh, what he wouldn’t give just for a bit of fresh air (which he didn’t actually need anymore but craved anyway) and seeing the stars again…

 

“Oh, come on, silly! We’ll put a long coat on you along with a hat. You’ll imitate walking and keep your head lowered. And once inside the restaurant you’ll always turn away when the waiters come. Otherwise, you’ll be fine: we have booked a separate private room just for our group.”

 

“But… but…”

 

“You can’t say no! It’s my birthday! I’d be very offended if you didn’t come!”

 

“Do you think honestly this could work?” – He didn’t want to sound too hopeful. – “What if I’m not able to hold the coat and the hat, and they’ll all fall through me?”

 

“They won’t. You have mastered the art of touching and holding things already splendidly. You’ll be fine. We’ll be there to help you. Oi, come on, everyone is waiting!” – As if demonstrating her reasoning, she reached out to grab his arm. He concentrated on letting her touch him and noted happily that it worked. He felt more optimistic about this crazy idea by every passing minute.

 

Of course it wasn’t easy to get to the restaurant, having to hide a ghost among them all the way and making sure nobody would accidentally really look at him and realize what was under the disguise. Q had to be very careful not to walk into anyone or anything and not to lose his hold on his concealing clothing for a second, lest they would just slip onto the ground in a heap, leaving him quite exposed to curious observers in a decidedly not sexy way.

 

The next problem was settling down inside the restaurant. Like in any decent place, it was expected of men to take off their coats and hats upon arrival. Naturally, this was absolutely out of question this time, so M, Tanner and Alec distracted the personnel while Eve, Julia (M’s wife) and Marnie (Tanner’s wife) rushed with Q into their private room already waiting for them. As Eve had just broken up from her ‘long-time’ boyfriend (well, long-time for her, anyway… the relationship had lasted nearly half a year!), Tom, and Alec hadn’t had time to find anyone just yet since his return to England, it was only the seven of them that evening. The room therefore was little but very friendly and cozy for their small group.

 

They laughed as they took seats around the table, happy about their success arriving here.

 

“Man, oh, man. It’s so good to be out of the office finally!” – Said Q between giggles. – “I thought I was going to die of boredom in there!”

 

“That’s not funny, you dork!” – Remark Eve but her smile betrayed her real feelings.

 

“So, Mr. Quartermaster…” – Began Marnie.

 

“Oh, just Q, please. I’m too young to be a ‘Mr.’. And I’m not getting any older either.”

 

“You moron.” – Laughed Moneypenny, and good-naturedly tried to hit his shoulder. Her hand just went through him without causing the slightest effect.

 

“Q, then. I’ll admit this is new. I’ve never seen a ghost before. But Bill has assured me there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

 

“Don’t worry; I’m not an avenging spirit or anything like that… I must say: the both of you take seeing me for the first time really well. Others usually faint or scream when they spot me.” – The ghost admitted reluctantly.

 

It was Julia who answered.

 

“I think I can talk for the two of us when I say: ever since our husbands have been working for MI6, we have gotten used to pretty much everything. So we’re not surprised about adventures like dining with a ghost anymore. It’s a bit like X-Files, isn’t it? I’ve always liked Mulder…” – And Marnie nodded her agreement, both blinking dreamily while Moneypenny just laughed.

 

Just then the remaining three men entered as well.

 

“We have already placed our orders, so at least they’ll not come in for that. They’ll bring drinks in a few minutes though.” – Explained M apologetically.

 

“I’ll just slide down under the table then.”

 

“Idiot.” – Eve failed to as much as meet resistance when she wanted to punch him again, and everyone was rolling from laughter at their friendly banter.

 


	3. The Return of James Bond

Their night out was a hit. Q had managed to hide under the desk first then quickly disappear into the toilet the next time the waiters entered. Otherwise, they had been left alone ever since they had gotten their food. Bill had even ordered something for Q so as not to make the staff suspicious.

 

“Don’t you mind that you can’t eat anymore?” – Inquired Marnie sympathetically, indicating towards his untouched plate full of delicious-looking chicken marsala. They had agreed that the others would divide his food between themselves as soon as they’d finish their own dishes.

 

The ghost opened his mouth to answer but Eve beat him to it, saying:

 

“Ah, I don’t think he even realizes the difference. He never ate anyway.”

 

“That’s true.” – Agreed Tanner, frowning a bit. – “We always worried about him starving himself. Now at least he has a valid reason not to eat.”

 

Q shook his head somewhat sadly.

 

“I just miss drinking Earl Grey out of my Q mug.”

 

“Poor boy used to be addicted.” – Explained Eve, patting him on the back, this time managing it even; this fact showing more than anything else how much Q needed the reassurance and sought any kind of human contact right now. – “You could never see him without his tea.”

 

“At least I can still smell it.” – He said with a half-hearted smile, trying to see things from the positive perspective. – “It’s almost as good as tasting it.” – That was not true but well… It was something. And maybe if he kept repeating it, in the end, he’d believe it.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

The next day the young spirit found his beloved Q mug on his desk – filled with soil and bearing a small, beautiful plant that was loaded with what looked like baby oranges.

 

There was also a note next to it:

 

_It’s a dwarf bergamot sour orange plant. That’s what your precious Earl Grey is made of. Maybe you’ll like having it with you all the time, since the oranges smell wonderful. Eve”_

Q smelled the plant and smiled. It really reminded him of Earl Grey! Now he wouldn’t have to make tea and keep it hot just to be able to smell it.

 

He made a mental note to thank Moneypenny for her thoughtfulness and began working feeling considerably better than before.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

James Bond returned on a Thursday. Q would never – not even if he really had to remain here until eternity – forget that day.

 

He had just finished briefing 009 on his new assignment when Moneypenny burst into Q-Branch, startling both the spirit and the agent and causing a few minions to drop whatever they had in their hands.

 

“He’s here!”

 

“Who’s here?” – Asked Q, feeling lucky he didn’t have a working heart anymore because he was sure it would have stopped from the scare she had caused by rounding on him like that. – “Are you high, Eve? You’re bouncing like an excited child in the circus.”

 

“You’re so very funny. And I meant _James Bond_. He’s back.”

 

“WHAT!?”

 

“You heard right.”

 

“He actually had the nerve to return!”

 

“Ah, sorry to interrupt…” – Began 009 nearly shyly. – “… but you’re squeezing my wrist quite uncomfortably now, Quartermaster…”

 

“Oh… Sorry, Peter…” – He released the man’s hand to which he had been about to fasten the new explosive watch and handed the gadget to the agent to do it for himself instead. He had discovered early on that he usually lost his grip on anything solid when he was depressed, scared or confused, but got exceptionally strong upon being angered. It was curious and also a bit frightening; it made him understand all the urban legends about ghosts being dangerous and deadly. But it also didn’t matter right now. – “Eve, don’t let him come near Q-Branch! I’m afraid I’d feel inclined to kill him.” – He declared seriously.

 

Her eyes actually lit up at that in a decidedly creepy way.

 

“He would deserve it. And I think he should see what he did.”

 

“No. He wouldn’t feel guilty anyway; he’s incapable of it. I don’t want to see him ever again.”

 

So, he shooed his visitors out of of Q-Branch and retreating into his own office, after having strictly instructed his minions to barricade the door even more firmly than before and not let anyone inside whoever they were and whatever they might try to bribe them with. Especially not one James bloody Bond, ex-007.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

James Bond had been trying to talk to Q for two days now. It was very frustrating because nobody had wanted to tell him anything about the boffin and the man in question seemed to have absolutely disappeared.

 

He had already tried offering the minions anything they desired in exchange of information but to no avail: they were very adamant about wanting him out of Q-Branch without giving him proper answers about the young computer wiz’s whereabouts first. Promises of free library tickets and computer games hadn’t done him any good either. (“Don’t you think we can download whatever we need? We’re hackers for God’s sake, _Agent_ Bond!” – One of them had said.)

 

And he was sure Q wasn’t in his office. Also, he probably hadn’t been there for a long time, since even the door leading to it had been blocked by a desk by now.

 

He couldn’t understand this general attitude towards his person at all. It was as if everyone – including especially Moneypenny, Tanner and even M – had a grudge against him for something. Also, he was ready to admit that he had thought the Quartermaster and him were friends. The man had even flown to Austria to help him unofficially, even though he hated planes, that ought to count for something! And now he wouldn’t even see him. What was this hostility he could feel in the whole MI6?

 

So, having decided that enough was enough, he made his way towards M’s office to confront Moneypenny who, he knew, would be found at the secretary’s desk, like always around that time of the day.

 

As soon as he arrived there, he knocked on the door loudly, then, without waiting for an invitation, entered.

 

“What are you doing here?” – Asked Eve with cold animosity, looking up from various documents she had been organizing until the rude interruption. – “You can’t just march in here! M’s busy, you can’t talk to him right now. If you want an appointment, then I can give you one for next week. But you could have simply called; you didn’t need to barge in like that for it.”

 

Bond couldn’t contain an outburst anymore.

 

“What is it with you all? I’m not looking for M and I definitely don’t want an appointment for next week! I want to talk with you and right now! I want to know why everyone hates me and why I’m not allowed to see Q at all. Where is the kid anyway?”

 

“It’s none of your business where ‘the kid’ is, James Bond! And if we’re already here, tell me: where is your little _girlfriend_?” – She spat out the word like venom.

 

Bond blinked confusedly.

 

“You mean Madeleine? She’s… not in the picture anymore. She remained in Paris because she didn’t want this life. I came back because I didn’t want that life there. We just weren’t suited for each other.”

 

“Oh, what a pity. Not worth abandoning your friends for then?”

 

“What are you talking about? I didn’t abandon you!”

 

“You didn’t?”

 

“Of course, I didn’t! I just… I… well. I needed a bit of time away from it all.”

 

“And how very _convenient_ for you to need that ‘bit of time’ exactly when all of us had to go through the most difficult ordeal – thanks to you, if I might mention. And you just left us here to deal with it and its consequences all alone.”

 

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about, Eve but I’m here because---”

 

“Typical. Tell me: what did we do when two years ago Silva got rouge on us and wanted you dead?”

 

“Well… we all worked together to stop him, of course.”

 

“Yes, ‘of course’. We risked ourselves quite a few times as well during that, if you still remember. And what did we do when M died in your arms and you were depressed, God forbid even suicidal, about the loss?”

 

The Double-O agent thought back to the probably most difficult time of his life with a shudder.

 

“You brought vodka martini and came to the flat to drink it with me. Tanner offered a cot in his living room for me to sleep on if I didn’t want to be alone. M asked my opinion about every little idea he had just to take my mind off things… And Q came over with a stack of cards to play poker to stop me from having nightmares and keep me company. He won 100 pounds off me in one night, the little cheater.”

 

“Exactly. I’m glad you can still recall the memories. And what did we do when it was Blofeld who wanted to kill you just recently?”

 

“You helped me even behind the Government’s back. Q flew to Austria to assist me. Well, more like to chew me out for disappearing, but he also helped afterwards.” – He smiled fondly.

 

“Yes. And what did you do when he was kidnapped and tortured?”

 

“I found him. Well, admittedly, I had to get Madeleine to safety first but then I found him.”

 

“You mean you got captured as well, and were thrown into the cell next to his by pure chance.” – Eve reminded him. Q had told her all about what had happened after he had died and became depressed over it. If he hadn’t been dead already they would have feared he’d do something to himself during that period… It had been horrible. And James Bond hadn’t been here to help him through it!

 

“Okay, that’s true. But I still found him, didn’t I? And we got out.”

 

“Because he told you how to use the gadget he had given you and you hadn’t even bothered to familiarize yourself with before the mission.”

 

At least the agent didn’t try to deny it.

 

“And we got out.”

 

Moneypenny sighed. That idiot man would never get it so why was she even trying!?

 

“All right. And what did you do when we were standing on that bridge in the middle of the night, tired and injured, having just caught Blofeld, and were in the deepest trouble imaginable for having broken all the rules that existed in the whole universe?”

 

“I… shit.”

 

“Exactly.” – Finally. Maybe the man wasn’t totally stupid after all?

 

“Eve, I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it that way.” – Or maybe he was.

 

“No. You clearly didn’t, I agree with that. But didn’t you think about it when you came back for the car later either?”

 

“No… Because Madeleine was impatiently waiting for me just outside of Headquarters and I wanted to hurry… I thought I had it all… I was a complete idiot. I’m honestly very sorry.”

 

“Are you sorry for having left us, or for being wrong about your girlfriend?”

 

“Both, I guess.”

 

She shook her head at that disappointedly.

 

“Not good enough.”

 

“May I talk to Q, please? I think I might have offended him too.”

 

“You _think_?” – He really _was_ an idiot, it was definite now! – “No, you might not. Now, go. I’m busy. Shoo.”

 

Bond hung his head and left Moneypenny to do her work without further protests. He could see he wouldn’t get anything else out of her.


	4. The Talk

Q felt he would go nuts if he had to stay cooped up in his office any longer. And somehow, he was quite sure a crazy ghost wouldn’t do much good for MI6.

 

He hadn’t left the small space ever since the infamous James Bond had come back with his disgustingly charming smile, and that had already been three days ago. He couldn’t take it anymore! Even ghosts needed freedom and fresh air, and just walking… khm… floating around a bit. He felt as if he were stuck in a cage. The only thing missing was the sign with the opening times for visitors so that he could be made the perfect spectacle in that special zoo called MI6…

 

Having reached a decision, he poked his head out of his office through the wall, where he knew his face would be partially blocked by the nearby cupboard. As soon as he had made sure that the troublemaker agent wasn’t anywhere in sight, he completely came through to hover in the middle of Q-Branch.

 

“Oh, boss! You’re out finally! We have missed you!” – Squeaked Judy, and Q thought she was close to hugging him. Every one of them had been disturbingly protective of him ever since he had died. As if anything worse could happen to him…

 

“Yes, I couldn’t stay there any longer. Do you know if James Bond is in the building?”

 

“He shouldn’t be, Overlord.” – Answered a young man named Andrew from the other side of the room. – “M got really angry with him yesterday for lingering when he had nothing productive to do…”

 

“Yes, so he sent him home and instructed him very sternly not to come back until he would be called in for additional training to get his double-o status reinstated. And that wouldn’t happen for a while; right now, his suspended for leaving without permission.” – Finished a giggling girl called Amanda.

 

“Why? That’s not the first time this has happened, and certainly not the last…”

 

“Because everyone hates him for what happened to you, Q.” – Revealed Mary with a conspiratorial wink. – “We made sure of that. Besides, he deserves it; he abandoned the team when all forms of help would have been needed very much.”

 

For once, Q was very grateful for his minions for always being up to date with office gossip.

 

“Thanks, guys. Then I think I’m going to take a stroll… I mean _swim_ through the air. I’ll be back soon.”

 

“Of course, Overlord. Enjoy!”

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

Q felt in Heaven! No pun intended… But being finally out of his office had lifted his spirit (again, no pun…) considerably. In just half an hour he had already been up on the roof to smell a bit of fresh air, in Accounting to frighten the hell out of the bookkeepers and was now sailing in air towards M’s office with the clear intent to go and bother Eve and maybe even Bill a bit.

 

He felt very much in element and--- and then by rounding a corner he came face to face with the very man who had been the reason for his self-imprisonment and forced exile in the first place.

 

They stared at each other for a moment silently; Bond rooted to the spot as if magically petrified, one leg lifted in mid-step and Q slowly sinking lower and

lower towards the ground; he’s dropping reflecting his deflating mood perfectly.

 

“Oh, my God!” – Was all James got out when he could finally find his voice.

 

The young ghost got instantly angry. Was that the best the man could do!? Oh, how he was going to show him!

 

“What the hell are you doing here, 007? I thought you have been sent home!”

 

“I am… I was… I mean… Oh, my God!”

 

“It’s getting old, you know.”

 

“What happened? Why are you… like this?” – He waved his hands around wildly, gesturing at the other man helplessly.

 

“Like what? Come on, say it! What am I like in your opinion? Angry? Tired? Irritated? Pissed off? Say it, damn it!”

 

Bond shook his head and closed his eyes, praying it was just a bad dream or that his eyes were playing tricks on him. When he opened them again though, the apparition still stood… or hovered… whatever… in front of him.

 

“Dead…” – He whispered.

 

“What are you talking about?” – Mocked Q, crossing his arms in front of his chest. The man could see the door at the end of the corridor, behind the spirit. He saw _through_ the spirit. Trying to understand it made his head throb.

 

“I… you’re… not? I mean… ahm…” – The agent seemed to be close to fainting. Q cruelly relished every second of his misery and wished nothing more than to add to it. So, he asked in a mocking tone:

 

“Are you all right? You look deathly pale, 007. Even paler than I am. Should I call Medical?”

 

“Deathly… Deathly pale…”

 

“Yes, that’s what I just said. You don’t have to parrot back everything. Well, if that will be all, I might just fly on. I have a lot of haunting to do. You see, I have decided to become a poltergeist. Goodbye.”

 

Having said that, he made a show of doing a somersault in the air before flying up, passing easily through the ceiling and disappearing from view. James Bond blinked a few times after him before collapsing in an undignified heap on the floor, instantly unconscious.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

When Bond woke up, he could see light… very bright light. Maybe he was dead? Or maybe he had hit his head very hard on something he could not remember? That would explain a lot. Maybe even the weird dream he’d had before losing consciousness.

 

He had been dreaming about Q being a ghost. What a stupid dream. Now, lying in a comfortable bed in what he now recognized as Medical, it all seemed too ridiculous. He couldn’t even believe he had been able to be frightened that easily. Hopefully, nobody would ever learn about it. He’d just tell everyone he had been exhausted because of moving back to England, spending all his time in HQ hunting for Q, and all…

 

Q… it was all because of him. He had been so fixated on finding the boffin, it had caused him have nightmares. For now, he would just forget about the younger man; give him time to forgive him for whatever he thought he might have done to hurt him… Yes, that was a brilliant plan without doubt.

 

So, satisfied with this excellent decision, he turned onto his left side with the intent to go back to sleep. And then screamed. Loud.

 

“Aaaargh!!”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” – Apologized Q, this time with absolute honesty. – “I didn’t want to scare you, I swear! Please, calm down before you’ll faint again!”

 

“Aaaaaaaa!”

 

“Come on, Bond, pull yourself together! They’re going to throw me out of here if you won’t shut up!”

 

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

 

And sure enough, immediately there was a stern-looking nurse standing by the entrance to the doctor’s office, looking at Q with an angry expression, seemingly not bothered by the fact that there was a GHOST in the room, far more upset about the state of the sick man.

 

“Quartermaster, I must ask you to leave. You’re upsetting my patient.”

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

 

Q clapped his hands over his ears and tried to shout louder than Bond’s screams.

 

“It wasn’t my intention! I came to apologize to him! He just won’t listen to me.”

 

“I don’t care, I’ll need to sedate him if you won’t leave and let him calm down. Out with you! NOW!”

 

“I’m sorry.” – Said the spirit sadly before forcing himself to move his legs as if walking and even reaching out to touch the door to open it. But he was too upset to manage it, so in the end, he just sighed in disdain, and floated through it dejectedly.

 

He could hear 007 all the way down the corridor.

 

_“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”_

 

‘I really didn’t want to upset him that much!’ – He thought miserably to himself.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

After having administered two doses of sedatives to the agent, the nurse proceeded to explain about Q’s state.

 

“The poor lad had some serious-looking bruises to begin with. No idea how he had managed to get them though. Still seems reluctant to talk about the events. Well and then he also got shot. They said something about a car chase and being shot at by some bad guys… Apparently, he didn’t even register what happened first. He probably could have been saved otherwise, since the bullet didn’t hit anything that would have been life-threatening under normal circumstances. He just slowly bled out and by the time he collapsed, it was already too late to help him.”

 

James couldn’t believe it.

 

“How can you not realize you’re hit? I’ve been shot a few times, it seems impossible not to feel it.”

 

“Beats me. Apparently, he had been in much pain anyway because of something that had happened to him before. And was also quite preoccupied with the happenings. Anyway, he was brought here by Mr. Mallory, Mr. Tanner and Miss Moneypenny but the doctors couldn’t help him. I saw him die. He flatlined and was declared dead and then… he… then just… he sat up, looked at us in confusion with those beautiful green eyes of his, and leapt out of his body. It was frightening. He panicked as well when he saw his body still lying on the bed then realized he was transparent and floating. Then, when it sunk to him that it meant he was dead, he became depressed. Try to comfort a suicidal ghost… It wasn’t an easy time for anyone.” – She finished the sad story, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief.

 

“And I screamed…” – Bond spat bitterly, angry at himself. – “He came to talk to me and I screamed.”

 

“Quite understandable, dear.” – She patted his arm with motherly tenderness. – “And you’re certainly not the first one to do so. Probably not the last either, so don’t beat yourself up about it. Poor boy will have to learn to deal with it. He _is_ a ghost after all and most people are afraid of apparitions like that.”

 

“I thought spirits only existed in fairy tales and horror stories.” – Admitted the agent.

 

“We all did.” – The nurse shook her head wistfully, rearranged his blanket, then left him to sleep. The amount of sedative he had gotten was finally catching up with him and he could already feel himself losing his grip on reality and falling asleep.

 

**J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

It was a few hours later when James Bond felt strong enough to get out of bed without danger of falling right back into it, and went to look for Q to talk to the ghost.

 

He found the entrance door to the Quartermaster’s private office blocked again – but now he understood it didn’t mean the boffin wasn’t in there, rather that he didn’t want anyone to enter – and the minions all looking at him with angry, condemning stares.

 

“I know, I know. I was a prick. I came to apologize. Is our very own Casper inside?”

 

“Yes. He refuses to come out or allow any of us to go in. He’s in the same state he was in after _it_ happened… after he died. It took a lot of effort and help from all his friends to get him to accept his state and not wallow in self-pity about something he’s sadly not able to change. He was feeling so much better lately; no thanks to you of course. Then you just had to come and redo all our hard work in only a few minutes, so: congratulations _Agent_ Bond!” – Growled one of the braver minions.

 

“I’m going to talk to him.”

 

“Hardly; if he doesn’t want you to.”

 

Bond recognized a challenge when he heard one.

 

“We’ll see about that.” – With that he forcefully shoved the desk to the side, effectively cleaning the way for himself to be able to enter Q’s sanctuary.

 

Inside it was dark and forbidding. Even turning on the light didn’t help him locate the moping spirit.

 

“Q, where are you? I would like to talk to you. Please!”

 

“No, go away!” – Came the muffled reply from somewhere inside the closet by the farther wall. Good, he was at least here then.

 

Bond closed the door behind himself for privacy (much to the disdain of the minions) and stepped up to the middle of the room.

 

“Q, please. Let me explain everything. I still want us to be friends. I know I did a lot of horrible things. Let’s talk. Please.”

 

Suddenly, he could see an arm and a shoulder coming painfully slowly through the closed cupboard.

 

“Aaaaw…” – The body parts disappeared instantly. – “No, Q… Sorry. I… I just have to get used to this. I want to see you. Please.”

 

“No. You screamed again.”

 

“I’m sorry. I won’t anymore.”

 

“Yes, you will. You can’t bear to see me; and I can’t blame you. I’m an abomination. Something that shouldn’t exist.”

 

“Don’t be silly! None of us cares in which form you exist as long as you’re here with us. Please, let us talk without the barrier of that wall of wood between us. I promise you, I won’t scream.”

 

“You really promise?” – Asked the reluctant young spirit shyly.

 

“I swear on everything I own.”

 

“That’s not much; everything you left here was taken back by MI6… But all right. Ah… Here it goes.” – And he slowly floated through the furniture and hovered in front of Bond, looking at him with expectant eyes. He tried to stay steadily on the ground but didn’t quite manage it, so he was unstoppably bobbling up and down a whole inch, nervously biting his lip. – “So?”

 

“Do you mind if we sit down to talk?” – Asked Bond, careful to keep his voice even and also not to stare too noticeably at the transparent figure’s feet dangling in the air. Or at the bloodstains on his clothes. Oh, God… How had he not even noticed them before!?

 

“Of course. Come on.” – He gestured for Bond to take the couch while he himself took the swivel chair. Or tried to, at any rate. As it was, he ended up inside the chair and had to try it two other times until he could manage to properly sit. Had he not been transparent and thus nearly entirely colorless, his cheeks would have burnt red with shame by now. – “Sorry about that; I’m usually not that clumsy anymore. Now it only happens when I’m really upset about something.”

 

“So, it gets easier with time?”

 

“Yes… well. At first I didn’t even know how to touch anything. My hand just went through solid objects as if they hadn’t even been there, absolutely without doing anything at all to them. It was totally frustrating above everything else I had to deal with. Slowly I started to figure out how this works and I practiced a lot with the help of Eve, Bill, M and my minions. They have all been great to me. Even the agents got used to me pretty quickly. In the end, I became good enough to be able to work again and even go out with the guys for a drink sometimes. Not that I can drink or eat, mind you, but I can at least spend time with them outside of Headquarters now.”

 

“How do they hide you then from others on the street?”

 

“I am usually able to keep on clothes: long coat, hat… And I try not to float too much but imitate walking instead. That’s the hardest part; a bit like trying to walk in deep water that wants to lift your legs out from under you all the time and you have to work against this force with difficulty, using all your strength. It gets tiring after a while. Yes. I can get tired.” – He added the last part as an explanation, seeing the agent’s surprised stare.

 

“And do you sleep?” – Wanted to know Bond. As his initial fright slowly disappeared, curiosity came instead to take its place. Luckily, Q didn’t seem to mind. As a matter of fact, he relaxed to the point where he started to explain from a professional’s point of view instead of loaded with emotions.

 

“No. But I rest when I’m not working just by reading a good book or flying through the corridors. Like when we met earlier today. I’m sorry I scared you and I’m sorry for my behavior. It was uncalled for. That’s what I wanted to tell you in Medical.”

 

“And I’m sorry for screaming and not listening to you. I’m also sorry because I know I’m the reason you were angry in the first place. I didn’t intent to hurt either of you but it seems I managed to do just that. Horribly.”

 

The ghost sighed and decided that, if they were already talking, he might as well get it all off his chest now. So, he began:

 

“Yes. You can’t even begin to imagine what it felt like in Austria when I understood you wouldn’t come looking for me and help me get away from my kidnappers. I ran from them for at least an hour outside in the bitter cold weather before I deemed it safe enough to return to the hotel. And then they found me just after twenty minutes or so. I only had time to leave you the message on the mirror in the bathroom… Did you find it?”

 

“We did. It was a brilliant idea with the steam and the hidden script.”

 

“Thanks… The worst part was having to destroy my beloved laptop. Well, I hoped you’d come but I guess finding out more about Spectre was way more important…”

 

“I came for you as soon as I could. I honestly didn’t think they’d hurt you that much.”

 

“They questioned me about you and they wanted me to show them how to track your smart blood. I refused, they hit and kicked me… You can imagine the rest.”

 

“I can. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

 

“It’s okay. You came in the end.” – He chose not to mention that Bond technically hadn’t gone for him. He had just been kidnapped as well and brought to the same place to die.

 

“I did, but not soon enough to stop them from hurting you.”

 

“No… And I killed someone.”

 

“Not a very nice person.”

 

“That’s true. Does it make it okay then?”

 

“Maybe not okay, but at least understandable. It was self-defense.”

 

“I guess… Then I had to work with M, and stop Blofeld’s ‘Nine Eyes’ computer program from taking control over all global surveillance. There was the car chase. I’m pretty sure I got shot during that but I couldn’t feel it. I mean, I felt a lot of bumps but we weren’t driving exactly leisurely so I didn’t think anything of it. And I was in pain anyway from Austria. And I was concentrating on hacking…”

 

“Is that where all the blood on you comes from?” – Asked Bond carefully, trying to be considerate, referring to Q’s clothes.

 

The sad spirit nodded.

 

“They’ll remain like that forever. I tried standing under the shower but it didn’t do anything. I can only touch solid things and even that takes concentration. Water is hopeless.”

 

“May I ask how you died? What happened exactly?”

 

“I don’t really know. I remember we were standing on the bridge and you threatened to shoot Blofeld. But then you threw the gun into the Thames and went to Madeleine. That’s when I started to feel funny. Like really dizzy and light-headed. At first I thought it was just relief that it was all over finally but then… I don’t know. It got frightening because the world started to spin and I was suddenly too weak to remain standing. I don’t remember more until I woke up in Medical. I looked around and Moneypenny, Tanner and M, along with two doctors and Nurse Hilda were all staring at me funnily. Eve and Hilda looked like they had been crying and all the others were really upset too. I sat up and wanted to ask them what was wrong; what had happened that had made them that worried and sad.”

 

“That was when you realized…?”

 

“Yeah, because I was… Dunno… _lighter_ than normally. I didn’t understand so I looked back and I found… myself… I mean: my body… still lying there. Blooded and bruised. But I was also sitting up so I couldn’t understand what was happening. I remember that Eve started crying earnestly and Bill said something about it not being possible… I panicked and that caused me to fall through the bed. That scared me even more and I jumped up. I ended up on the ceiling, with half of my body _inside_ of it. I think I must have screamed though it might have been someone else. I don’t really know; it’s all so confusing. The days following that as well. I only remember snippets of them.”

 

“Why didn’t they tell me when I came for the car? I would have remained! I would have helped!”

 

“You didn’t ask. You just left us to deal with the mess and never asked if we needed help. Why would have anyone thought you would even _care_?”

 

Bond couldn’t believe his ears. They didn’t think he would _care_?

 

“How can you ask me that!? Of course I care! You’re my friend. You died, then became a ghost and nobody thought it important to inform me about it!”

 

“R told me you barged into Q-Branch and first demanded to see me. And when she told you I wasn’t available, you just said to her: ‘then _you_ give me the Aston and I’m out of here. Hurry up, somebody is waiting for me’. Isn’t it true you said that? R told it to us that way and at least five other minions who had been present have confirmed it as well.”

 

“Oh… I guess… I might have… khm… well.”

 

“So when and how should they have told you about me?”

 

Bond had to admit, his behavior might have suggested he didn’t care about them anymore.

 

“I’m sorry. I really can’t say anything else. I regret doing it. I was not myself because I thought I’d leave this life behind and begin anew somewhere else with Madeleine. Have a happily ever after. God, I was so wrong!”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Nothing really ‘big’. It just turned out we don’t have the same expectations of life. She wanted quiet. A white picket-fence life in the suburbs of Paris with three children and a dog… That’s not what I want at all. For one, I wouldn’t make a good father. I need action and even if it’s not being a double-o agent, I felt I needed to do something active. Like becoming a bodyguard or something. But she said she couldn’t be with someone who has a dangerous job and wanted me to do something boring instead, for example become a football coach to children in elementary school, or similar.”

 

Q had to stop himself from laughing out loud at the mental image of Bond in shorts and T-shirt with a whistle around his neck, trying to discipline a team of naughty children.

 

“A football coach? Oh, my God, she really didn’t know you, did she?”

 

“I’d say we didn’t know each other. Come to think of it, I still don’t know anything about her life before we met; aside from what she had told me at the beginning of our acquaintance. And that’s not much.”

 

“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you as you had wished it to. Though you have to admit: you would have missed MI6 anyway after a while, even if you had become a bodyguard. This plan was condemned to fail from the very beginning.”

 

“It’s possible.” – There was momentarily silence, during which both men sat deep in their own thoughts. In the end, it was Bond who broke the quiet again. – “It still doesn’t excuse my behavior. I shouldn’t have left like that. Not when you all needed help that much. Not when you…” – He broke off, unable to continue with the sentence.

 

“Died.” – Q finished for him helpfully.

 

“Died. Yes. And then to come back for the car and demand they give it to me even though I knew it belonged to MI6 and that you had worked very hard on it.”

 

“Yeah… Well… I guess it’s lost again, isn’t it?”

 

“No, no. It’s here; safe and sound. Not even a scratch on it. I’ll give it back to 009. It was originally supposed to be his, after all.”

 

“Wow! You have never brought back a car in one piece! You’re not kidding, are you?” – Q narrowed his eyes, feeling suspicious about some trap.

 

“No, honest. I took extra good care of it. It’s even washed and polished.”

 

“Well then, you may keep it. _Originally_ it was designed for you, you know. They just reassigned it after that catastrophe you caused in Mexico City as a punishment. 009 has his own car by now, since we didn’t expect you to bring back that one. I think he’s quite satisfied with it as well, so he won’t demand yours back.”

 

Bond shook his head.

 

“I think I deserve that punishment now more than ever.”

 

The ghost looked at the other man he had hated just a few hours ago, and found to his own immense surprise that now he didn’t feel like that anymore at all.

 

“No. You made a mistake, that’s true. But that’s it. Let’s get over it and forget what happened.”

 

“Do you really mean that?” – Should he dare hope? The one he had hurt the most, however unintentionally, but still, would forgive him and not hate him forever?

 

“Yes. You know, I think I really do. Let’s just move on, shall we? There’s no changing the past anyway.”

 

“That’s sadly true. Thank you, Q.”


	5. The Power of Forgiveness

After that talk, things got better for Q. He felt happier and… somehow lighter. Literally. He realized that four days later when he floated contently up to Bill to play poker with him before the man would call it a day and head home for his well-deserved rest. They did this every week ever since he had joined MI6 and his death hadn’t broken their habit either. This time it was different though; now he nearly ended up on the ceiling again instead of in the armchair in front of the stunned man, because he couldn’t stop flying upwards.

 

That was just confusing.

 

“Hey, Q. Are you all right?” – Asked Bill worriedly.

 

“I think I am… I don’t really know. I don’t have an idea what’s normal and what’s not for a spirit…” – That was true. Despite all their best efforts, they still hadn’t been able to learn anything useful about ghosts and what to expect in his situation.

 

“…But?” – Urged him the Chief of Staff to continue, feeling that there was something the ghost wasn’t telling him.

 

“But I think I’m a bit different from before. I feel funny.”

 

Tanner frowned.

 

“In what way?”

 

“Good question… I feel like I’m too light to stay on the ground. Like I’m about to fly up and up and away from here. Like I have to fight to stay here and I’m losing the battle.”

 

“Oh… Do you think…? I mean… Could this be…?” – The man’s voice was loaded with panic, even though he was trying to control his outburst for the sake of his friend.

 

“What? You mean The Time? To leave? You mean I don’t have to stay on Earth anymore?”

 

Tanner licked his upper lip nervously, hating to realize how hopeful his friend sounded.

 

“I don’t know. But you would like to go away, right?” – He asked sadly.

 

Q looked at him for a moment, thinking, before answering.

 

“You do know I don’t belong here anymore, don’t you, Bill? Dead people shouldn’t be here among the living.”

 

“Okay, but… I don’t want you to go.”

 

“Then in the end it would mean that you’ll all leave and only I remain here. Alone. You can’t want that for me.”

 

“I know…”

 

“Bill, you guys are my best friends. My family. I’d be waiting for you… wherever I’d be. It wouldn’t be goodbye forever.”

 

Tanner couldn’t answer; he just shook his head and shuffled the cards. The silence was filled with sadness as Q finally managed to descend enough to reach out and take his cards back.

 

They played for longer than usual, and not only because Q sometimes lost his hold on his stack and let them fall onto the table with an annoyed huff. It was also because Bill just didn’t seem to want to leave him that evening.

 

  **J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B * J * B**

 

The next day Q finally realized for sure what was happening. How could he not when he felt so very tired like he used to feel after working for over 50 hours straight when he had been still alive? Also, when he looked down at his arms and legs, he could see they were steadily growing fainter, as if in process of disappearing completely.

 

He decided then that he needed to talk to all of his friends and asked Moneypenny to arrange the meeting.

 

As soon as everyone was settled in the conference room, Q floated up to the front (he had to hold on to the door handle in order not to end up on the ceiling again like a balloon filled with helium), and began to speak.

 

“Hi… ahm… thank you all for coming. The thing is; I wanted to talk to all of you because I think… ahm… I think I’m going to die. For real now, I mean. Like going away who knows where and all.” – He explained stammering, taking the time to look all of them in the eyes for a few seconds.

 

Everyone but Tanner, who had probably already suspected what this gathering would be about, looked startled and surprised at the unexpected news.

 

“But, kid, what are you talking about? You’re a ghost, you can’t die!” – Argued Trevelyan. – “This is nonsense. Where has your famous logic gone?”

 

“You know very well we don’t have an idea what I can or can’t do, Alec… That’s what we have been trying to find out for ages, isn’t it? And without success, I might add. I still think I might be the only ghost around at this time. And even I won’t be here for long. Maybe there used to be others but then they could leave after a while as well? I don’t know but it doesn’t really matter anymore either, since _I_ will leave soon.”

 

“How can you be sure?” – Wanted to know a sobbing Moneypenny. – “You said we don’t know anything. You can’t know that either!”

 

“But I can feel it. It’s also quite evident. Look.” – And he demonstrated his newfound difficulties coordinating his movements and grabbing onto solid things. Everyone could immediately see the spirit was even clumsier now than in the beginning. And that said a lot. – “I think there’s no other interpretation for this phenomenon, Eve.”

 

M shook his head in denial, trying to grasp at the last straws he could come up with as a possible explanation – other than the one Q had given them.

 

“We’re still not sure about anything. Maybe you’re just tired. I mean we assumed automatically you didn’t need to sleep as a ghost. Maybe we were wrong. Maybe you’d need more rest even if not actual sleep. You should go home more often and just relax.” – He reasoned.

 

Tanner nodded enthusiastically at that. Fatigue, they could deal with. Not with losing the young Quartermaster though. _That_ couldn’t happen!

 

“I haven’t been able to go home for days because I can’t keep my disguising clothes on anymore, sir. I tried; they just end up on the floor right away.”

 

“Why didn’t you come to us for help immediately?” – Asked the exasperated leader of MI6. – “We would have done something!”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know. We’ll come up with a plan, I promise. I’ll take you home in my car.”

 

Q just shook his head.

 

“At that rate, I’d just fall out of it during the ride.” – He sighed. – “Look, it’s too late anyway; I won’t need to go home anymore. You may sell my apartment for all I care; I don’t have a family to claim it. Or you can issue it to someone else – an agent, maybe –, whatever you want to do with it is fine with me.”

 

“Don’t talk like that, Overlord!” – Exclaimed R horrified, clapping her hands in front of her mouth. – “You’ll need your home!”

 

“No, I won’t. Listen, R, you’re going to become Quartermaster once I’m gone and then----“

 

“NO!”

 

“Yes! And I don’t want a funeral or any kind of service. I hate ceremonies with a passion. Besides, I’ve been dead for months.”

 

“Yes, exactly! So why would anything change now? You died and remained as a ghost. Nothing happened to make a difference.” – Bill finished and seemed quite satisfied with this line of thoughts. Really, it was all just silly talking: honestly, why would anything change now?

 

“Oh, but something happened all right.” – Smiled Q knowingly. At the others’ curious looks, he explained: - “I forgave Bond. I’ve made peace with what happened and how I died. I’m not bitter about it anymore. I’m finally free. _Light_.”

 

And he _was_ , though he himself had only now managed to understand it. Incredible how long it took for the supposed genius to work out the ‘mystery’ that should have been obvious to everybody from the very beginning.

 

He had died angry and feeling betrayed; of course, he hadn’t been able to move on right away! How very simple and yet so incredible.

 

Everyone stared at him, suddenly understanding as well. They knew now they couldn’t keep the ghost with them any longer. He didn’t belong on Earth anymore. They had to let him go and resign themselves to saying goodbye.

 

“Rest in peace.” – Was all Bill could get out as they watched the smiling figure fade into nothingness in front of their very eyes. Q seemed happy as he waved at them before disappearing completely.

 

The people present didn’t feel as sad as they thought they would. They knew it would be better for Q like that and they also suspected they’d meet him someday again.

 

Bond shook his head sadly.

 

“It was all because of me. I’m so sorry for what I did to that boy by leaving just like that. And to you all.”

 

“Your actions have consequences, James; you need to understand it. Try not to take your friends granted in the future.” – Reminded him Alec.

 

“I won’t. I promise.”


End file.
